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	<title>Bouncing Back &#187; positive thoughts</title>
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	<description>Bouncing back from adversity; Moving forward with hope.</description>
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		<title>Possibilitarianism</title>
		<link>http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/2009/09/possibilitarianism/</link>
		<comments>http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/2009/09/possibilitarianism/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:38:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rich Dixon</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relentless Grace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[optimism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive attitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive thoughts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[possibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[realistic optimism]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/?p=1405</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh, my friend, it&#8217;s not what they take away from you that counts.  It&#8217;s what you do with what you have left. Hubert Humphrey Do you ever fear positive thinking? I do. Of all the fears that might haunt us, why in the world would we fear a positive attitude? Immediately following my accident, I wanted [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><blockquote><p><em><strong>Oh, my friend, it&#8217;s not what they take away from you that counts.  It&#8217;s what you do with what you have left. Hubert Humphrey</strong></em></p></blockquote>
<p>Do you ever fear positive thinking? I do.</p>
<p><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-1408" title="fear turtle" src="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/fear-turtle-300x230.gif" alt="fear turtle" width="300" height="230" />Of all the fears that might haunt us, why in the world would we fear a positive attitude?<span id="more-1405"></span></p>
<p>Immediately following my accident, I wanted desperately to believe in the possibility of recovery. I knew that a good attitude would help me tackle the hard work ahead. But somehow I couldn’t find the courage to maintain a consistent positive approach.</p>
<p>I faced a difficult road with an uncertain destination and I consciously chose to imagine the worst, despite ample evidence that most of the “worst” never happens. I understood intellectually that the course of my recovery depended on my outlook, but I resisted the urge to look for possibilities in a difficult situation.</p>
<p>What’s the source of this irrational fear? What’s courageous about adopting a positive attitude?</p>
<h3>WHAT WILL THEY THINK?</h3>
<p>During my rehab I met men and women with completely severed spinal cords and illogical expectations of complete recovery. Families cheerfully affirmed their absolute conviction that God would provide a miracle and their loved one would certainly walk again. I thought these folks were whistling in the dark, pretending that nothing was wrong in the midst of disaster.</p>
<p>My injury actually offered more reason for realistic hope than many others, but I think I was afraid of appearing naïve. I tried to seem mature and pragmatic, but I really worried about what others might think. I feared being labeled as a Pollyanna; I didn’t want others to think I lived in denial, so instead I denied myself the power of optimism.</p>
<h3>DISAPPOINTMENT</h3>
<p>I think we choose pessimism as a defense against disappointment. By expecting failure, we remove the risk of shattered dreams. Fearful of uncertainty, I chose the false security of hopelessness and a death spiral of depression and darkness.</p>
<p>I’ve learned that hope doesn’t have to involve unrealistic wishes. “Hoping” for a new bike or a magic cure is more of a wish. True hope is expectation rooted in faith. When I learned to place my hope in Jesus’ consistent presence and God’s promise to always work for good in all things, I reversed the death spiral and entered a cycle of growth and optimism.</p>
<h3>REALISTIC OPTIMISM</h3>
<p>In an article called <a href="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/?p=272">Eight Keys To Confronting Adversity</a> I talked about something I call <strong>realistic optimism</strong>. I don’t advocate following Pollyanna down the path of denying reality. I see little advantage in pretending that everything’s rosy and sunny when it’s not. Problems can’t be solved or obstacles overcome unless they’re first recognized.</p>
<p>But realism doesn’t equate with pessimism. Realistic optimism isn’t denial, it means becoming what Norman Vincent Peale called a “possibilitarian” when he said, “No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities &#8211; always see them, for they&#8217;re always there.”</p>
<p>Possibilitarians—realistic optimists—don’t ignore the darkness, but they also don’t fear seizing the opportunities that exist on even the most difficult path.</p>
<p>We all wander at times in a deep forest with no familiar landmarks. Some folks ignore the danger and skip blindly along, trusting that luck or God will somehow guide them away from surrounding peril. Some despair of ever escaping, so they sit in darkness and await inevitable calamity.</p>
<p>But some look up to a sky that stretches beyond the darkness and follow the light of hope and opportunity. They recognize and even fear the reality of their circumstances, but they’re not afraid to look beyond immediate danger to discover and anticipate possibilities.</p>
<p>I want to become a confirmed possibilitarian.</p>
<p><em><strong>Why do you sometimes fear optimism? How do you replace your fear with “possibilitarianism”?</strong></em></p>
<blockquote><p><em><strong>The sun shines and warms and lights us and we have no curiosity to know why this is so; but we ask the reason of all evil, of pain, and hunger, and mosquitoes and silly people. Ralph Waldo Emerson</strong></em><span id="_marker"> </span></p></blockquote>
<p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left"><img class="size-medium wp-image-1396 aligncenter" title="SS cover" src="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/SS-cover-300x299.gif" alt="SS cover" width="210" height="209" />I hope you&#8217;ll take a look at my new e-book titled STICKS AND STONES: Finding Freedom In The Face Of Criticism. It’s a free PDF download. You can click the link in the sidebar or <a href="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/store/">go to my resources page</a> to download.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-821" title="divider" src="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/divider.gif" alt="divider" width="176" height="1" /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 0 12pt;">Did you enjoy this article? Please leave a comment, <a href="http://richdixon.net/" target="_blank">visit my website</a>, and/or send me an email at <a href="mailto:rich@richdixon.net">rich@richdixon.net</a>.</p>
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<p><img title="blog tag" src="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/blog-tag.gif" alt="blog tag" width="425" height="145" /></p>
<p>Related articles:</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/?p=272">Eight Keys To Confronting Adversity</a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/?p=281">Rebuking The Storm</a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/?p=317">Who&#8217;s The Real Enemy?</a></p>
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		<title>Rose Colored Glasses</title>
		<link>http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/2009/06/rose-colored-glasses/</link>
		<comments>http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/2009/06/rose-colored-glasses/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:14:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rich Dixon</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[New Beginnings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive attitude]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive thoughts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relentless Grace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rich Dixon]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thoughtsabouthope.wordpress.com/?p=393</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Note: This article is a regular Friday feature that&#8217;s also posted at SetFreeToday.com You are what you think about all day long. Dr. Robert Schuller Do you see the sunrise or the clouds? A rule of thumb for providing feedback maintains that ten affirmations are required to balance one criticism. I don’t know whether ten [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><p><strong><em>Note: </em></strong>This article is a regular Friday feature that&#8217;s also posted at <a href="http://setfreetoday.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">SetFreeToday.com</a></p>
<blockquote><p><strong><em>You are what you think about all day long. Dr. Robert Schuller </em></strong></p></blockquote>
<p>Do you see the sunrise or the clouds?<img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-394" title="15_sunrise_raysb" src="http://thoughtsabouthope.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/15_sunrise_raysb.jpg?w=300" alt="15_sunrise_raysb" width="300" height="195" /></p>
<p>A rule of thumb for providing feedback maintains that ten affirmations are required to balance one criticism. I don’t know whether ten is exactly the right number, but we all know the principle. A lot of positive feedback is required to counterbalance a negative comment.</p>
<p>I think the same model applies to our thoughts. An entire day of exciting, energizing possibilities can be obscured by a single doubt. No matter how many signs encourage us to move forward with passion, one caution casts a shadow over an entire enterprise.</p>
<p>We cannot manage the words or actions of others. We’ll always encounter people who either intentionally or inadvertently rain on the parade. But we can control the direction of our thoughts and responses to circumstances and events.</p>
<p><em>SetFreeToday</em> rests on God’s promise that we can choose a new beginning in Christ. God doesn’t want us to live in the mire of fear and regret, and He doesn’t want us enslaved by the chains of our own doubts.</p>
<p>I think our enemy understands this. He whispers constantly that we need to focus on problems. He tells us that life is tough and urges us to seek revenge and retribution. The enemy wants us to believe that we are responsible for others’ words and deeds. He desperately wants us to equate a positive attitude with an immature, “rose colored glasses” approach to life’s realities.</p>
<p>I’m not a Pollyanna. Difficulties are part of life. We can’t always simply ignore them, but they don’t have to become the center of our thoughts. We can choose to face challenges and then move on, refusing to allow them to dominate our attention.</p>
<blockquote><p><em><strong>Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4: 8-9)</strong></em></p></blockquote>
<p>Beauty and joy surround us. Generosity and good are abundant. We can contemplate the glory of a sunrise or we can turn our backs on splendor and worry about the clouds on the opposite horizon. One choice leads to anxiety about a future beyond our control. The other directs us to awareness of God’s majesty, to a sense of new beginning, to peace.</p>
<p><strong><em>What&#8217;s a negative thought you&#8217;d like to move away from the center of your thoughts today?</em></strong></p>
<p>Related articles:</p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/?p=112">Regret</a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/?p=54">Choices That Define</a></p>
<p style="text-align:center;"><a href="http://relentlessgrace.com/bouncingback/?p=51">Lessons From The Jar</a></p>
<p>Please leave a comment, <a href="http://richdixon.net/" target="_blank">visit my website</a>, and/or send me an email at <a href="mailto:rich@richdixon.net">rich@richdixon.net</a>. </p>
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