The virtues of men are of more consequence to society than their abilities, and for this reason, the heart should be cultivated with more diligence than the head. Noah Webster

What’s your idea of friendship? I recently heard a speaker talk about loving people with no strings attached.

His reference prompted me to examine my own relationships. How frequently am I a friend because I expect something in return? Even if it’s just acknowledgement, a pat on the back, a thank-you—do I tie my friendship to conditions?

This online community, our circle, is a good place to begin. I share here because I’m passionate about it. I’m not trying to make money or become famous (though I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to either of those outcomes!). I write Bouncing Back because I want to connect with like-minded folks who want to explore issues of life and faith.

So, do I expect anything in return? Have I attached strings, spoken or implied, to participation in the circle?

I like it when readers respond. I enjoy receiving comments and emails, and it’s gratifying when you take time to recommend something to others via a re-tweet or a Facebook post. The whole point is connection and two-way communication; that’s what makes the circle organic and fulfilling.

But do I expect those responses? Is it an implied condition of full participation in the circle?

I feel good when readers comment on the e-books and pass them along to others. I get a rush from interacting with audiences at speaking engagements. And, yes, I appreciate people buying, reading, and talking about Relentless Grace. If I didn’t want people to read and engage with this stuff, there wouldn’t be much point to writing it.

But am I disappointed when those things don’t happen? Am I sending my ideas out into the universe and subtly expecting some sort of return on my investment?

I hope not. I want my friendships, here and elsewhere, to flow from service without strings. I hope I’m asking, “How can I help?” without wondering, “What am I going to get in return?”

Knowing Rich as well as I do, I know my approach isn’t that pure. A thin line separates enjoying feedback and expecting it, and I’m sure I inadvertently cross that line too frequently.

Unconditional love is tough; perfectly unconditional love is probably beyond my capability. But the notion of agape is central to living a life of purpose and substance.

I need to constantly look for and eliminate those seemingly insignificant strings.

The greatest use of a life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.

What are the strings you unconsciously tie to your relationships?

Did you enjoy this article? Please leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

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