We must become the change we wish to see in the world. Ghandi

What’s required to change the world?

Let’s think big, beyond small-time issues like economy and war. What do you think it would take to really change the world?

Visionary leader Gus Lee believes significant, lasting change occurs only through courageous leadership based on character.

I’m currently participating in a year-long program designed to foster courageous leadership. It’s a wonderful opportunity to study and apply the principles from Gus’ book Courage: The Backbone Of Leadership. I’m inspired to re-evaluate my own values and priorities.

Gus doesn’t advance simplistic, pie-in-the-sky platitudes. He’s a pragmatic, no-nonsense former prosecutor and airborne military officer. When you jump out of airplanes into harm’s way, you learn something about courage.

As Chair of Ethics and Character at West Point, Gus trains leaders to face critical, life-and-death choices. He’s also a committed follower of Jesus. Although he doesn’t phrase his ideas in church language, everything he advocates rests on Jesus’ teachings.

He supports his position with significant objective data. Multiple long-term studies demonstrate that all types of organizations guided by character and principle out-perform competitors in every important metric. The information’s been there for nearly two decades in best-sellers like Built To Last and Good To Great. The data is unequivocal, the conclusions are clear.

AND THE RESULT?

On any meaningful scale, it’s been ignored. Nothing has changed.

In fact, as we understand the greed and fraud that underwrote the recent global financial meltdown, one might argue that we’ve regressed even further. Highly intelligent, powerful people pursue disastrous policies in the face of overwhelming evidence that there’s a better, more productive, way.

Why?

I’m sure the reasons are varied and complex, but I believe much of this failure traces to a single, simple principle.

THEY

I call it THE “THEY” PRINCIPLE: WE are the good guys; THEY are the bad guys.

WE aren’t perfect, of course, but WE have the right motives, believe the right things, and have the right answers. If THEY would listen to us, WE could help them improve their character and halt their destructive behavior.

The REAL problem is THEY.

THE MESSAGE

Work through this with me. Choose a focus—economics, religion, politics, business, family—and see if you don’t agree with the following statements:

1. The culture is somewhat adrift.
2. We’ve sacrificed eternal principles to chase fleeting, short-term results.
3. Long-term principles yield greater success than a focus on immediate results.
4. The significant problems we face are moral problems.
5. Principle-centered leadership is the only way to solve moral problems.
6. Wisdom and discernment are more important than knowledge and information in determining what’s right.
7. Wisdom and discernment require character.
8. Character can be developed over time.
9. Significant courage is required to do the right thing in the face of opposition and fear.

10.  Courage can be learned. It’s a skill.

Do you agree?

So last week Gus taught the principles and skills required for courageous communication. He emphasized that everything was based on demonstrating unconditional positive respect for others.

We observed, studied examples, and practiced. And the very first question from the crowd was: What if the other person doesn’t respond like I want? Further discussion among participants revealed THE “THEY” PRINCIPLE at work.

What’s the point of leading if THEY don’t follow and change? Another item was added—implicitly—to the list.

11.  We need to help others to perceive their deficiencies and begin doing the right things.

OOPS

Do you see the not-so-subtle shift? Gus talked about developing our own personal leadership based on character and courage. He emphasized that it’s a journey of personal growth and change founded on respect for others.

Suddenly we’re focused on what THEY are doing wrong. If only THEY would think a little differently, behave a little better, or pay a little more attention to us, life would be good.

THE “THEY” PRINCIPLE degrades courageous leadership into a cheap imitation, a manipulative management trick designed to herd rather than lead.

Sadly, I frequently catch myself in the grip of THE “THEY” PRINCIPLE. Instead of becoming the change I wish to see in the world, I lament that THEY won’t listen.

I lead from the front by inspiring and trusting others to follow. Leadership requires courage, creativity, commitment, and respect.

I herd from the rear by nipping at their heels and coercing others onto my pre-determined “right” path. Herding involves manipulation and force.

And it changes nothing.

You don’t lead by hitting others over the head. That’s assault, not leadership. Dwight D. Eisenhower

Do you lead or herd in your important relationships?

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Courage is the single most decisive trait in a leader. Gus Lee

Welcome to part four of our discussion about courage, inspired by Gus Lee’s wonderful book titled Courage: The Backbone Of Leadership.

I’ve been thinking about Gus’s analysis of courageous leadership in light of Jesus’ model for us. Entire books have been written about Jesus’ leadership. My goal is to list a few attributes of courageous leadership that are apparent in His life.

• Courageous leaders act for what’s right, regardless of risk.
• Courageous leaders resist short-term temptation. They make decisions from a long-term perspective.
• Courageous leaders demonstrate integrity. Their actions and decisions match their words.
• Courageous leaders confront problems. They don’t take the easy path.
• Courageous leaders stand firm in their principles under pressure.
• Courageous leaders motivate “by ethically modeling, and inspiring others to be, their best selves and to act courageously for what is right.” (Gus Lee)

As a follower of Jesus, I want to lead in my circles of influence according to His example. These seem like a good start.

What did I miss? What other attributes of courageous leadership do you see in Jesus?

Leadership is character and competence.  If you can have only one, opt for character. H. Norman Schwarzkopf

I just released a new free ebook. I hope you’ll download your copy and pass it along if it seems worthwhile: (just click on the image to download)

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 An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest. Jesus, knowing their thoughts, took a little child and had him stand beside him. Then he said to them, “Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all—he is the greatest.” [Luke 9:46-48] 

Are you a leader?

It’s a rhetorical question, and the answer is YES. We’re all leaders. We all influence others at work, in our homes, at church, and in social settings. The real question is how we deploy our influence.

I watched this entertaining video of Itay Talgam talking about leadership in the context of an orchestra conductor. The video’s about twenty minutes long, and makes some great points about leadership. If you want to watch, go ahead. I’ll wait.

The video raised some interesting questions for me about leadership, influence, and control. Here are some of mine, and I hope you’ll share others.

• Am I influencing others “toward” or “away from” the ideas I value?
• Is influence a zero-sum game, or is it possible that I gain influence by giving it away?
• Am I experiencing the joy of helping others pursue and achieve excellence?
• Am I threatened by the prospect of enabling and empowering others?
• Can I lead with less control?
• Am I using members of my circle to meet my needs (I hope not!) or am I genuinely concerned with developing partnerships and helping others?
• How much of leadership is technique and how much is about attitude and heart?
• Can I guide a process without controlling people?

The best line of the talk occurred right at the end: If you love something, give it away.

What are some of your questions or observations about leadership, control, and influence?

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Agape

How will They Know Us?

Happy Saturday! If you’re new to THE CRAZY QUEST, you may wish to read about it here. Basically, I’m tracing my journey as I attempt to answer the question:

What would you do if you didn’t know you couldn’t do it?

This week of training: 32 miles

SECOND PLACE

Adversity introduces a man to himself.

Second place is the first loser.

Which of these quotes encourages you to dream?

This week’s look at The Crazy Quest involves two young men who pursue their dreams with passion while keeping their priorities in line.

Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy are senior quarterbacks at Oklahoma and Texas. They’re gifted, motivated, and intensely competitive. And despite their roles as leaders and centers of media attention, they understand that it’s not about them. Take a couple of minutes to hear their take on winning.

 If you can’t view the video, watch it here.

It’s pretty easy to be cynical about the over-emphasis of about big-time sports in our culture. Most folks would agree that enormous amounts of money have created too much exposure and placed athletes in an undue position of prominence.

These guys get it. In a world that thinks they have it all, they understand that they’re not number one.

The Crazy Quest is about chasing a dream. It’s about setting a goal that seems impossible, dismissing the naysayers, and going after the dream with passion and conviction. It’s about inspiring the folks in this circle to dream big dreams and do whatever’s necessary to make them happen. And it’s hopefully about encouraging each other through the rough spots when the dream seems impossibly distant.

But my dreams and yours aren’t about us. If they’re worth the effort and sacrifice, dreams must be about something more than winning or success or achievement. They have to be about relationships, about helping others, about building something beyond our own lives. They have to be about Jesus.

I agree with these two inspiring young men. I’m second.

What’s your take?

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Where Aren’t You Trying To Go?

If you have no heart to change it, you have no right to criticize it.

I’m skeptical whenever someone wants to provide “constructive criticism.”

I think criticism is a passive-aggressive form of boasting, an easy way to attract attention while trying to appear concerned. Critics often claim that they’re trying to help, but the real intent is to find fault, to highlight some flaw or failure.

In a sadly transparent admission of impotence, the critic tries to cast himself as the expert and raise his perceived status by tearing down someone else. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn, and most fools do.”

Criticism is often simply a cheap way to create artificial controversy. Talk radio and cable “news and commentary” fill endless hours with disrespectful shouting. An argument draws a crowd, especially a loud argument, and criticism is mostly about drawing the crowd.

THE MOB

Criticism often invokes the mob mentality. The critic wants attention and needs others to agree. One guy is screaming and everyone else is parroting and shouting, “Yeah, right. What he said!”

If you’re wondering about a critic’s motives, watch what happens when the spotlight fades. The argument immediately moves to the next topic, because the intent’s always about attracting attention. It was never about actually working for positive change, because that’s usually done in the background.

FEEDBACK

Feedback differs fundamentally from criticism, because feedback occurs within a relationship. Feedback conveys a desire to help, a willingness to step into a valued process at the risk of personal sacrifice. Feedback comes from someone who’s involved, while criticism originates from those outside the fray.

• Feedback seeks to build, create, and improve. Criticism aims to destroy and tear down.
• Leaders provide feedback. Bosses criticize.
• Feedback is hard work. Criticism is easy.
• Feedback comes from a position of humility and service. Criticism involves authority and centers attention on the critic.
• Feedback values people and requires relationship and trust. Criticism focuses selectively on results to devalue individuals and their efforts.
• Feedback requires an emotional investment from the giver, and has the potential to build the emotional reserves of the receiver. Criticism reverses the process.
• Feedback needs to be carefully evaluated by the receiver. Criticism needs to be discounted and discarded, though doing so is not easy.
• Feedback is communication. Criticism is gossip.
• Feedback can be painful, but it offers the possibility of growth and improvement. Criticism is hurtful by nature.

I want authentic feedback, even when it’s difficult or even painful to hear. I want a circle of folks who care enough to take the risk of helping me to improve, and I hope I’m open to considering and acting on that sort of input.

I also want to identify and ignore criticism and critics. Without being disrespectful, I want to dismiss criticism as an inevitable result of trying to accomplish something meaningful. In fact, perhaps the presence of a cynical critic is a sign that I’m on the correct path.

I want my feedback from people I trust and respect. As someone once said, “No statue has ever been created to honor a critic.”

Let’s be willing to invest in others by offering feedback. And let’s avoid being critics.

When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.

How do you see criticism and feedback?

Next time we’ll talk a bit about receiving feedback and criticism.

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