Have you ever thought about “hope” as a dangerous thing?

If you’re a regular reader you know I’m working on this crazy big project (Journey 4 Hope) as one of my 2011 goals.

As the project begins to take shape, I’ve started telling more people about it. Last week I talked to a couple of groups and encountered variations of the same question: What made you think you could actually do something this big? It’s a great question, especially if you consider what’s behind it.

I think most of us—myself included—think about “changing the world” as someone else’s role.

Super powers

We’re deluded into believing that world-changers are fundamentally different from the rest of us. They’re superheroes blessed with some special talent or vision. Nothing frightens or discourages them. They welcome adversity and laugh in the face of uncertainty and failure. World-changing is for Jesus and Ghandi and Mother Teresa.

I believed that for a long time, and mostly I still act in those terms. I’m just an old bald guy in a wheelchair. All I ever did was teach math to squirrely adolescents. Who am I to think I can actually make any real difference?

But every once in a while a strange thing happens—I actually take God seriously. I let the stuff about grace and forgiveness and new beginnings sneak behind my carefully crafted mask of insignificance. And when that happens, when I allow myself to comprehend what it all really means, everything changes.

Hope

In the brief moments when I claim God’s promises I experience hope, an expectation based on faith.

As soon as your notion of hope shifts from “wish” to “expectation,” you enter dangerous territory.

The moment you accept the radical idea that you’re not insignificant, that God’s given you a unique set of gifts and the ability to use them, you really have only two choices. You either turn away in fear and go back to pretending that you’re really just an inconsequential speck of dust—or you step forward and face the frightening reality that your work and your life have eternal consequences. That’s an awesome responsibility.

I’d do it if …

God did not create you and me to be ordinary. He doesn’t want us to sit around and wish we could be special and accomplish amazing things. I think we mostly believe that we’d do great things if only we had that ability or that power or that financial security. That’s probably a self-delusion. Plenty of folks have all sorts of ability and power and money and never do anything extraordinary with them.

We see the end result of a world-changing life; we ignore the thousands of seemingly small decision points that created that result. The terrifying reality is that we’re all one bold choice—and a great deal of hard work—away from changing our corner of the world.

You’re one frightening choice away from being a remarkable parent, teacher, employee, spouse…whatever. God’s version of hope allows you to step out in faith, despite the evidence, and work until the evidence changes before your eyes.

What made me think I could do something this big? In a moment of weakness I took God at His word.

You need to be careful about that. God’s Word changes everything.

What would happen if you shifted your notion of hope from a wish to an expectation based on faith?

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Finishing And Beginning

Journey 4 Hope

Do you ever experience one of “those” days?

I don’t want to be here right now.

The past twenty-four hours have not been much fun. I’m angry and impatient. It’s one of those situations that shouldn’t bother me but it does and I want to fix it but I can’t and I wish I could do something but there’s nothing I can do and I want to scream but that would be stupid.

That’s how it feels—a crummy run-on sentence of frustration and fear. I just want to tell the whole world, or at least a few of the world’s people, to take a big flying leap.

I feel like smacking someone in the head. I want to play computer solitaire all day, ignore the phone, close the email, and tell everyone to just LEAVE ME ALONE!!

It’s preposterous to be this angry, but today that’s just how it is.

Do you know about “that” kind of day?

Get over it?

So … what to do? I know it’s not as simple as Just Get Over It. I tried some of the things in my list of How To Get Past The Blues. Mostly I just wanted to slap myself for making it sound so trite.

I know I’m not supposed to let stuff get me down. I tried telling that to myself, and myself replied, “Shut up!”

I prayed and told God about my dissatisfaction and disappointment. I tried to listen, but the clamor of my own emotions drowned out whatever He said in response.

Except…maybe that’s not true. Once I realized that I faced a difficult morning, I made a conscious choice to get on with work. I opened my normal morning reading, certain that nothing worthwhile would appear. In a couple of different reflections I encountered these two statements:

• The greatest causes of my unhappiness are my run-away thoughts and feelings.
• I’ve created a lot of pain for myself by dwelling on the past and obsessing about the future. I’m always rehashing the mistakes I made and feeling ashamed, or remembering someone else’s and feeling angry.

Hmmm … is it possible that those are thoughts I needed to hear? Any possibility that I didn’t encounter them by chance?

I didn’t suddenly become Mr. Sunshine. As I said above, I really don’t want to be here.

A friend’s wise response

So on my Facebook status I wrote, “Beautiful sunny morning, supposed to get into the ’50′s. So why am I working so hard to stay positive?”

And one of my friends replied, “Because you can.”

What an amazing response! I wanted someone to commiserate, but her three words spun things in a totally different direction. I realized that I don’t FEEL like writing, but I’m choosing to write anyway.

How about that? I’m not a slave to my feelings! I sat in the reality of this verse (#9 in my list of 100 Significant Scriptures):

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Our feelings exist for a reason. We need to face them and deal with them. Denial isn’t a good option.

But we don’t HAVE to react to them. We’re free, if we choose, to step off the treadmill of run-away feelings and to decide on a different course.

Choosing

So I don’t want to be here, and maybe these won’t be the best words I’ve ever written, and maybe this isn’t going to be the happiest day ever. I can still choose to stick with it. I can follow through on my commitments to people who count on me. I can try to keep in mind the True-North principles in which I still believe.

God gives you and me the opportunity to choose, each moment, whether we react to our feelings or respond to our beliefs. And when we mess up—which for me is most of the time—He smiles and says, “Start over. Try again.”

God is about an eternal New Beginning. Today I’m just trying to be grateful for that even though I don’t feel like it.

Want to join me? I hope so, because I still don’t want to be here.

I came because I need you.

How do you get past a day like this?

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Blues

How To Just Get Over It

100 Significant Scriptures

Happy Saturday!

A former student once told me that old math teachers never die…they just lose count. My students never could equal my sense of humor.

This quick video (thanks to Kit Mulligan for sharing) shows a bit of the beautiful symmetry in mathematics that leads to a not-so-surprising conclusion.

Please consider passing this along via Twitter or Facebook. Thanks.

(If you can’t view the video, please click here.)

Have a great weekend!

Is “good” always good?

I’ll bet you received a lot of “year-end” messages from different organizations seeking a final funding push. One that caught my attention was an appeal to join in combating their perception of a growing movement called “good without God.”

I was invited to sign an online declaration—and of course to send some money. I did neither, but I did find myself wondering whether I object to the notion of “good without God.” What do you think?

I recalled a conversation with a close friend (I’ll call him Ben) as he explained why he never took his kids to church.

A good family

Ben and his wife both grew up in strict Christian homes, but after they got married they just never found a church that “seemed to fit.” So they dedicated Sunday mornings to family activities and service projects. They taught their kids to do the right thing, to serve others and their community, to be kind, caring, and respectful.

Then he asked an interesting question: What’s wrong with that?

I think Ben expected me to challenge his decision. I think he anticipated that I’d dispute his assertion that he and his kids could be good people without God. I didn’t.

What’s wrong with teaching your kids the value of kindness and service or dedicating time each week to family activities? Nothing’s wrong with those things—by any standard, they’re good.

My friend and his wife are great folks. I love spending time with them, learning from their experience and perspective. I’ve met lots of church folks who could learn from this wonderful family’s example.

Missing the point

The longer I follow Jesus the more I understand that I can’t “be good.” Occasionally I manage to do something good, as do many other Christians. But non-Christian individuals and organizations also do tremendous good.

Following Jesus isn’t about being good. It’s about a personal relationship. It’s about spending eternity in the presence of God.

Being good, doing good—they’re important. But they’re not the point.

The Source

I believe God is the source of good. I believe He uses all circumstances for good.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28.

I believe He uses everyone to accomplish His purposes—even those who aren’t aware of His presence. God sent the characters of Relentless Grace to transform my broken life. A few of those characters would deny God’s hand in their actions, but that doesn’t matter. He sent them anyway.

Fight!

The Christian label isn’t a guarantee of good, just as non-Christian isn’t automatically not-good. Good things are good things, and they all come from God.

Do I believe in “good without God”? No.

But I’m certainly not going to pick a fight with anyone who’s doing good—for any reason. I’ll celebrate and support kindness, generosity, and service wherever they occur.

If they ask, I will tell them that doing good isn’t the point.

Jesus is the point.

What’s your take on this idea of “good without God”?

For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving … 1 Timothy 4:4

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Here’s a list of articles in our Wednesday series about the Bible:

The Bible: What Did It Mean To Them?

The Bible: Who’s The Audience?

The Bible: Chapter And Verse?

Who Chooses The Actual Words In The Bible?

When Words Aren’t Quite That Simple

The Easy Bible

Bible Stories: Were Noah And Moses Really Brothers?

100 Significant Scriptures

Why Read The Bible?

The Bible Is About…

How would you complete the title of this article?

I’m starting a new Wednesday series explaining some ideas about reading the Bible. I’ll be anxious to read your feedback.

For a few years I’ve done a workshop for new small group leaders at my church. If I had my choice I’d call it One Dummy’s Thoughts About The Bible. However, our small group coordinator has no sense of humor so she calls it something boring like Bible Basics For Small Group Leaders.

I’m decidedly NOT any sort of expert, and I think that’s the point. It’s a simpleton’s guide to some of the very basic notions involved in understanding Scripture if you haven’t attended seminary, don’t speak Greek, and don’t commonly use words like eschatology and hermeneutics. Honestly, I think I’m the only person silly enough to talk about such a complex topic in public when most of the audience knows more than I do.

So I’m going to toss out some small chunks each Wednesday and see if we can generate some discussion that’ll help everyone—especially me.

Somewhere near the beginning I ask participants to complete this sentence: The Bible is about _____.

Typically we get answers like these:

• How to live a Christian life—how to follow Jesus.
• The history of God’s people.
• How to worship/pray/do ministry.
• How to please God.
• Religion.

Do you have an answer?

Right answer?

These are all good answers, and I’m sure you came up with others. But at a simple, basic, gotta-get-this-in-my-thick-head level, the Bible is about God.

As hard as it is to imagine, it’s not about me!

The Bible is God’s inspired revelation of Himself, His nature and character, and what He values. C.S. Lewis once characterized the Old Testament like this:

He selected one particular people and spent several centuries hammering into their heads the sort of God He was—that there was only one of Him and that He cared about right conduct. Those people were the Jews, and the Old Testament gives an account of the hammering process (from MERE CHRISTIANITY).

At its core the Bible isn’t really about the Hebrews, and it’s certainly not about me. The Bible is God revealing Himself to us. Here’s how it seems to me: there’s a two-way communication going on between God and humans.

The God-to-human side is revelation. It’s perfect and complete, precisely as God intended. The response, the human-to-God side, is religion.

Religion is the human response to God’s revelation.

We all know that human creations are flawed, and religion’s no exception. Our interpretation of God’s revelation reflects our human limitations, biases, and blind spots. So my personal religion—my personal response to my understanding—is incomplete and incorrect.

Organized religion is often worse, since it’s a conglomeration compromises and preferences. Thankfully, grace covers our mistakes, but we need to remember that our response, no matter how informed or sincere, always falls short.

So when I read the Bible, my primary goal is a better, more intimate knowledge of God. We’re part of the story because He created and desires relationship with us, but it’s not about us.

I have a lot of questions—I’ll leave a few and look forward to your comments.

How did you complete the original sentence?

Does this make sense? Do you agree or disagree?

What would you add?

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Bridges

My Child, Your Sins Are Forgiven

Why are you doing whatever you’re doing?

Last week we shared a small house for a short time with a lot of relatives. One interesting dynamic was repeated a number of times. An adult entered a room, saw a kid immersed in some activity, and asked, “What are you doing?”

The question carried varying degrees of emotion, often depending on whether the kid was playing quietly or dismantling Grandma’s Christmas village. But I heard it frequently and I noticed something: on the surface, it’s a really stupid question.

The activity was perfectly obvious. The kid was breaking ornaments or building a Lego village or reading or pulling the dog’s tail. Why ask what are you doing when it’s happening right in front of you?

I realized that “what are you doing?” really meant something deeper that depended on context. Some examples of the real meaning:

• Tell me about the story you’re reading.
• Why are you eating ANOTHER piece of your sister’s candy?
• How will that machine work when you’re finished?
• WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU SCATTER THE TINY PIECES OF YOUR NEW TOY ALL OVER THE HOUSE?????

As I sat in the corner tapping away on my laptop I thought about my three key words for 2011:

• Readers
• Workshop
• Ride

I know (sort of) what they mean, but I realized that the more important question is WHY?

READERS

This keyword reminds me that I want to connect with more readers in more ways. I want to grow the circle, figure out new ways to interact with you, and get you more connected with each other. I have some ideas on how (more later) but the real question is why?

Gratitude. I appreciate your willingness to listen. You help me sort out my thoughts and deepen my relationship with Jesus. You challenge my conclusions and encourage me when I wonder if it matters. I appreciate all you do for me. My primary reason for focusing on readers in 2011 is a desire to pass along a small portion of the blessing I receive from you.

I’ve never met most of you in person, but I feel like I “know” you as if we’d shared a lunch or two. Hopefully that will happen if you can get me invited to speak or do a workshop in your community. I am sincerely grateful for our circle.

Relationship. I think of my writing and speaking in terms of relationship. I believe that’s the purpose for which God created us, the main way we bear God’s image. In my current ebook I make the argument that life as God intends is a relationship.

We learn, grow, and thrive when we’re connected to God, others, and ourselves in deep, meaningful ways. I want to make this circle a place where those connections happen.

Have you noticed the post-it reminders at the end of the articles? I hope they’ll encourage you to leave comments. Your thoughts transform the site from monologue to dialogue. They give other readers a different perspective and help them know that others share their questions and struggles.

When an article strikes a chord with you, please take a minute and express what you’re thinking. You may never know when your words might touch someone else in a special way.

Sharing. This is an extension of relationships. Social media offers the opportunity to pass interesting ideas along. This helps me, and I appreciate that, but hopefully others benefit as well.

So if you see something you think others will appreciate, take a minute and pass it along on Facebook or Twitter. Include a personal comment and encourage your friends and followers to join the discussion. We’ll all benefit, learn, and grow.

And who knows when something you pass along will help, encourage, or inspire someone?

Hit the “share” button on Facebook and add a comment. Retweet on Twitter. Let’s make this a place where we connect, share, and grow together.

Is there anything you’re doing without really knowing why you’re doing it? Any changes you need to consider?

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Next Year Is Nearly Here

How Will We Leave Our Mark?

How To Expand Your Circle

Who’s your hero?

I recently heard a surprising, thought-provoking response to that question. A critique group gathered to practice their public speaking skills. They challenged each other to do a two-minute impromptu talk answering the question, “Who is your hero?”

The last speaker began with an attention-grabbing opening line: I am my hero.

Sounds a bit self-centered, doesn’t it? I wondered immediately whether the guy had trouble getting his big head through the door.

But his explanation made a lot of sense. He’s right, and I really admire the unique look at a common question. Based on his thoughts, here’s my take on myself as my own hero.

I’m a Hero?

A hero doesn’t need super powers, a cape, or a mask. If I look at my life as a story, I’m the main character. The principle character in a story is—the hero. I know—hero is technically male and heroine is female, but you get the idea.

Each of us plays the principle role—the hero (heroine)—in our own life story.

So what do you do if your hero doesn’t seem all that heroic? What if the hero’s life is mundane, routine, even boring? Well, that’s the really cool aspect of this perspective.

It’s YOUR story.

You write, direct, and produce. You create the sets and the costumes, choose the supporting cast, and select the locations. You’re the editor.

So if you don’t like the story, you can change it!

This is a great time to consider some editing. As I think about goals for 2011, I’m looking at God as my audience. Here are a few things I think God wants from my story. (Next Year Is Nearly Here) (God’s Plan For My Life)

God wants a story about pursuing God-sized dreams. Perhaps that means doing something big, or doing something small in a big way. A friend is volunteering for “children’s story time” at a library, and she’s taking a class in storytelling so she’ll be interesting and compelling. She’s doing a small thing in a big way.

I hope my dreams don’t reflect a small view of God.

God wants a story about the future, not the past. He’s about new beginnings and fresh starts. If the story seems pre-determined by regret, mistakes, bad choices, or someone else’s actions, maybe it’s time to tear up that old script.

Jesus did not come so we could live in chains forged in the past. He invites us to follow Him into a future of freedom and new life.

God wants a story of courage. One of the most frequent directions in Scripture is Don’t be afraid. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t experience fear. When the disciples saw Jesus walking on the water, He said: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” [Matthew 14:27b]

As I think about my goals, the story I wish to write in 2011, I picture Him saying those words. He invites us to face the fear, trust that He walks beside us, and write a courageous story.

God wants a story of joy. Too often Christians engage with wider culture in negative, angry ways. God is portrayed as a cosmic killjoy and believers are recognized primarily for what they oppose.

My pastor tells a story of attending a parents’ meeting at his kid’s school. Some controversy was anticipated and a man who didn’t know him leaned over and whispered, “This should be entertaining. The Christians are here in force.” Asked to explain why that would be entertaining he replied, “They only show up when they’re mad about something.”

I like Rick Warren’s quote: I love Jesus. I’m just not angry about it.

God wants a story of stewardship. He doesn’t want me to hide my light or bury my talents. He intends my gifts to be used wisely and responsibly, but also extravagantly in God-sized ways.

Delight the audience

That’s the objective of a great storyteller. I believe God’s pleased when we use His gifts to compose big stories of growth, courage, joy, and energy.

In an interesting story, the hero doesn’t sit on the couch and complain. My hero’s got some work to do.

How will you edit your story to delight the audience?

Please leave a comment.

Relentless Grace: now for Amazon Kindle

Need a last-minute gift? If someone you know will find an Amazon Kindle under the tree next week, give them the gift of Relentless Grace as a Kindle ebook. Click here to order.

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The Paradox Of Christmas

Have you thought about wrapping up 2010? How about plans for 2011?

It’s that odd time of year when we spend equal time looking to the past and the future. It’s sort of like doing taxes—you summarize the past year while figuring out what needs to change going forward.

One of my internal principles tells me to pay attention when I encounter the same issue in different contexts. I figure someone’s trying to tell me something. Recently I’ve run across a few folks who are asking, “What does God want me to do next?”

In the introduction to Relentless Grace I expressed my reluctance to claim that “God told me” to take a particular course. I won’t speak for anyone else, but I suspect I sometimes use “God’s plan” as an excuse to do what I wanted to do anyway.

I do believe that God speaks to us, and I certainly believe in His absolute sovereignty. Nothing is beyond His control; nothing escapes His attention.

But I also don’t see Him as a cosmic micro-manager. I believe He gave me gifts, talents, and interests. I believe He sent Jesus to demonstrate the principles of life. I believe He wants me to use what He’s supplied to write the best, most interesting, most helpful story possible as long as I’m here.

I believe He cares less about the specifics of what I do and more about the heart behind my choices. As I see it, He mostly wants me to be the main character in a story filled with passion, joy, service, and love. And I think He wants me to write that story.

I don’t believe He just set it all in motion and then stepped back to see how it would turn out. He works for good through the circumstances of my life without orchestrating those circumstances. And if that sounds a bit paradoxical, it is. He’s God, I’m not (thankfully). Whenever I try to put Him into human terms I get something that doesn’t quite fit.

It’s a mystery, and I’m fine with that. Mystery only means I don’t know everything, it doesn’t mean I know nothing. I’m comfortable admitting that I don’t know everything about God and how He works.

All of this is just my way of saying that I’m responsible for setting goals and accountable for working toward them. Yes, I pray for the Spirit’s guidance, and I believe I receive it. But I’m expected to do my part.

I’m thinking of several well-known Christian leaders who sell lots of books, speak to large groups, and wield considerable influence. Some, I think, seem primarily interested in business success, being the center of an empire, and promoting themselves. Others are primarily motivated to speak from the heart about Jesus.

Their business success does not prove that God blesses the heart behind it. Plenty of unscrupulous people build highly-successful enterprises. I also don’t believe that smaller degrees of success, or even failure, indicate that God didn’t favor a particular endeavor.

And I’m not always able to know which is which. Making that judgment—it’s far above my pay grade.

My job is to do my best with the time, talent, and treasure I’m given. That includes seeking God’s guidance, but it also includes strategic planning, goal setting, developing my network, learning new skills, and many other activities that are my responsibility. Doing them well increases the likelihood of success. Doing them poorly, or skipping them and waiting for God to make something happen, is an irresponsible waste of the resources He’s entrusted to me.

Mainly, what I ask from the Spirit is to show me when my heart, my motives, and my true, inner intentions are self-centered. I believe that if I keep my desire focused on Him I’ll be okay.

So I’m beginning the wrapping-up/planning-for-the-future process. I’ll share some of that, and I’d love to hear how you’re looking back and looking forward.

My guess is that some of you disagree with my perspective. That’s why I wrote this entirely in first-person. It’s the way I see it for me, the best I can discern at this point. I’m entirely open to the possibility that I’m wrong.

So how do you see this tough issue?

Please leave a comment.

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Looking Forward By Looking Back

What’s Going To Happen?

Setting The Stage For Success

Does it really matter?

I ask myself that question a lot. What’s “it”? Whatever I’m doing that’s consuming my time and attention. I’m all in favor of relaxing and having fun, but I want my life to be about stuff that matters.

So—how do I decide? How do I know if “it” really matters? Last week I stated two criteria:

• It can’t be just about making money (Gasoline, Money, And Stuff That Matters).
• It has to create more value for others than for me (What’s The Value Of Stuff That Matters?)

A third characteristic of stuff that matters seems to involve seeing the big picture. Stuff that really matters can’t be just about “here”—it has to benefit “there” as well. It can’t be about “now” at the expense of “later.”

Stuff that matters must enhance the big picture.

A lot of our efforts are sort of like a ponzi scheme—they work as long as we don’t worry about the big, long-term implications or how others will be impacted. It’s sort of like building a tall fence and tossing your trash behind it. The neighbors won’t be pleased, and eventually the junk accumulates until someone has to deal with it.

Businesses, families, and nations create a façade of economic stability on a foundation of unsustainable debt. Borrowing for now, with no plan for then, just means someone else will ultimately clean up my financial mess.

If technology teaches anything, it’s that there’s no “there.” We’re all “here.” I’m grateful (and amazed) that you’re reading these words on every continent. It’s not just my country, or yours, it’s OUR world. Work that matters can’t enhance my side of the fence while ignoring yours.

I’m often tempted to think of here as my little corner, my house, my town, as though here is a small place. But in terms of stuff that matters,  here is a very big place. Stuff that matters has to consider the “big here” rather than the “small here.”

Same with time—it can’t just be about this moment, because choices that matter have a longer impact. Stuff that matters impacts the “big now” as well as the “small now.”

I think that’s how God sees it. As Father, He sees everywhere, eternally. As Jesus, He understands here and now. And because He’s God, He knows exactly how to keep it all in perfect perspective.

So, stuff that matters:

• Might be about making money, but it can’t be ONLY about that.
• Might benefit me, but it benefits others more.
• Might enhance here and now, but must benefit there and later as well.

Make sense? What did I miss?

What else would you add that helps you decide what really matters?

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What’s The Value Of Stuff That Matters?

Gasoline, Money, And Stuff That Matters

What did you learn?

The big event’s over, the project’s complete, the crisis has subsided—now what?

My “teacher mentality” trained me to move on to whatever’s next. Get ready for the next class, the next lesson, the next unit. It just keeps coming, and there’s little time to reflect.

It’s a huge lost opportunity. It’s as if we’re drowning in the chaos of input and the demands of “What’s next?” New stuff—data, information, technology—gets the attention, and we’re tempted to miss the chance to look back, analyze what happened, and learn from the experience. I think we sometimes confuse “what’s new?” with “what’s best?”

I get it. I need to keep moving, living in the present while looking forward to “What’s next?” Past is past, can’t change it, no point in dwelling on it.

Maybe not.

Maybe wisdom comes from reflection, stopping occasionally to ponder steps taken and seek patterns. It’s not about dwelling on the past as much as taking advantage of it. Sometimes “right now” doesn’t make much sense, but if I examine where I’ve been and project that forward I discover something useful.

So since I just achieved one of my three big goals of 2010 by doing the Bouncing Back workshop at a retreat, this seems like a good time to list a few answers to “What did you learn?”

The only way to find out whether it works it to put it all out there. Planning and talking about it only take you so far. At some point you just have to lay it on the line and see what happens.

It’s a huge risk, because the truth is that it might not work. You may fail or get laughed out of the building. But the only alternative is to hide in the shadows and wonder “what if …?”

Others want you to succeed. When people buy your product or pay to hear your ideas or even visit your Facebook page, they WANT to see value, quality, and success. They hope for encouragement and smiles.

There will always be a few trolls who look for something to complain about. Sadly, they enjoy wallowing in the mud, and you’ll never please them anyway.

Accept encouragement. Remember that “encourage” means giving courage. Since people want you to do well, they will lift you up and encourage you to keep going. Don’t dismiss their support with some sort of false humility. There’s nothing wrong with allowing others to impart a shot of confidence.

Allow others to serve. A young man approached me Friday evening and asked if he could set up computer, projector, and other technology stuff. He saw the video camera and volunteered to take care of that process. During the entire weekend I never had to even think about technology.

On Sunday, this guy packed everything away and stacked it all neatly by the door. Then he walked up to me, shook my hand, and said, “Thank you for letting me help.”

Seems backwards—shouldn’t I have been thanking him? It’s a great reminder that allowing others to serve is a gift, that perhaps “doing it all myself” might be selfish.

Ignore critics, and listen carefully to feedback. I’ve written about Criticism vs Feedback. I’ve published a free e-book titled Sticks and Stones—download it from my Resources page if you’re interested. “Constructive criticism” is an oxymoron.

But I did receive some great feedback. I learned what worked well and identified some ideas that just didn’t connect. One particular section obviously didn’t work at all.

The next (hopefully) version of the workshop will be better because I learned from this one.

“Needs improvement” isn’t the same as “failure.” The weekend was a success. Certain parts could be improved, but that’s ALWAYS the case. Learning from mistakes doesn’t require regret or guilt.

It’s not about ideas and content—it’s about stories and relationships. What’s “it”? Anything that matters.

Content—good and bad—fades with time. Think back to your school experiences, and I’ll bet you remember your good teachers even if you can’t recall the details of their instruction.

In any circumstance, lasting value is created when people connect in authentic, transparent ways.

It’s not about me. See above. Whether I’m selling books or posting on the web site or responding to email, it’s about relationships and stories and how God works through those connections.

Plan a lot, and then plan to let it happen. Whatever you’re planning, it won’t occur exactly as you envision. And that’s a good thing, because the best memories usually arise from interruptions.

My prayer for the weekend, and for everything I do, is that God will surprise me. He did, and He always does. I just need to be quiet and get out of the way.

What can you add? What have you learned from a significant event?

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Related articles:

Setting The Stage For Success

Sticks And Stones

Keys to Responding To Criticism

Criticism vs Feedback