…get me in a lot of trouble.

I got disappointed this week.

Disclaimer: I’m only telling this story because I think it contains some valuable lessons. The details don’t matter—this is about my personal failure, nothing else.

# # # # #

A couple of years ago I was invited to be a very small part of a project. No contracts or financial commitments, just a small once-per-week contribution. Four other people, all much more qualified and credible, also joined. I felt pleased and honored to be included.

The basic idea was that we would all place a drop or two in the pond, and hopefully a few folks would benefit from a much-needed cool drink. The only “payback” was some publicity and perhaps a bit of potential traffic to my own site. In my case, an added benefit involved association with four experienced, well-known writers.

After a few months, the others began to drop away. Their contributions became less regular, then disappeared completely. No explanation—they just vanished. With a couple of intermittent exceptions, I was the sole contributor for more than a year. During that period, the only feedback I received was a terse admonition that I’d violated the guidelines by improperly promoting my speaking availability. I whined a bit and removed the offending material.

Why did I continue? I made a commitment to someone who helped me, and I wanted to keep that commitment. I also knew that a fair number of folks were continuing to visit, so I figured someone was finding value. I don’t want to over-play this—it really wasn’t a big amount of additional time or effort. I hoped I was helping the visitors and the person who originally invited me to join.

At least that’s what I told myself.

THE END

This week I received a form email informing me that the project was discontinued.

I have no clue what happened, why the others dropped out, or why the project ended. Don’t know whether I did something wrong or offended someone, whether my contributions were bad or inappropriate or worthless. And since I didn’t know, I of course made all sorts of wild speculations.

# # # # #

Before we go any farther, let’s be clear—this is in no way a criticism of anyone else. I’m not looking for sympathy. I relate this story only because I want to share what I learned.

What I mostly learned is to be highly suspicious of my own motives. Did you catch the lie at the beginning of this essay? “I got disappointed this week.”

Why should I be disappointed? I made an open-ended, no-strings-attached commitment to someone else’s worthwhile project. I kept my end of the bargain. The project ended. So what’s the source of my feeling of disappointment?

After all, I was just being a good guy, serving selflessly, trying to help—how could that possibly lead to disappointment?

You see it, right? The problem resides in my own heart. I didn’t “get disappointed.” I’m disappointed because I harbored a whole set of unspoken expectations that weren’t met.

So here’s a partial list of reminders to self:

Don’t “serve” with the expectation of getting something in return. That’s not service, it’s manipulation. Doesn’t work with people or with God.

Don’t say “Yes” from a sense of obligation. Never begin or continue anything because of a “should.” Better to say “No” than to agree out of guilt or compulsion. The world already has plenty of self-created martyrs.

If I don’t want to do something but I believe it’s the right thing to do, first change my attitude. If I can agree because I sincerely WANT to do what’s right, not because I think I should, then go for it. Otherwise, decline honestly.

Assume best intentions on the part of others. Nothing positive’s accomplished by ascribing evil motives. Nobody’s out to get me. Assuming the worst involves creating imaginary, much-worse-than-real-life monsters. Instead of inserting my own interpretations and “reading between the lines,” how about just being open about questions or concerns?

Nobody “owes” me anything. Let go of the sense of entitlement. I’m not owed gratitude, an apology, forgiveness, or anything else. Those are only worthwhile when offered freely—demanding them only insures false, hollow interactions.

(False) HUMILITY

Someone once offered a wise way to examine my inflated sense of self-importance:

When you begin to think you’re indispensible, stick your finger in a glass of water. Then pull it out, and see how much of a hole remains.

The world, and God’s plan, move forward—with or without me. I’m free to contribute and serve with an attitude of humility.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. [Galatians 5:1]

I’m free to live without guilt and expectations. I’m free to value love and relationships.

Or I can choose to live in a self-constructed prison of doubt and manipulation.

Doesn’t seem like a very difficult choice.

Obedience without surrender is manipulation.

Confession without repentance is bragging.

Have you created unspoken expectations in an attempt to manipulate yourself, others, or even God? What are they, and how do you let them go?

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I Got Nothing

“None of us can identify with what you’ve been through.”

I hear that a lot when I speak to groups. The speaker implies that my experience is so uniquely horrific that most folks simply can’t relate. But it goes a step further—somehow, my loss is “worse” than anything most other folks have experienced.

I don’t agree.

When I’m feeling a little sarcastic I’m tempted to reply, “I hear what you’re saying, and I appreciate your concern. But being bald isn’t really as bad as you think.”

I know—it’s a really terrible joke. But doesn’t the corny humor conceal a grain of truth?

None of us can truly identify with another’s experience. If you have a full, luxurious head of hair, you certainly can’t appreciate having most of your scalp involuntarily exposed to the weather. If you can walk and run and jump, you don’t truly understand what it’s like to suddenly lose those abilities forever.

But I cannot fully comprehend the nightmare of abuse or the horror of a child’s death. I don’t understand what it’s like to be in prison. There’s something unique about each loss that makes it, on one level, incomprehensible to anyone else.

My question isn’t about the uniqueness—it’s about the comparing. I guess I get concerned when people compare their pain—or their happiness—to someone else’s.

Some people go even further. “Hearing your story makes me feel guilty about my petty troubles.”

So if I understand it correctly, your pain suddenly disappeared because I showed up with a sadder story? And if someone with terminal cancer enters the room, I guess I’m no longer entitled to my sense of loss?

This preposterous obsession with comparison stems from the culture’s pervasive attitude of scarcity. We act like there’s a limited supply of esteem or self-worth or love. Contentment and happiness become objects of competition; it you want more you have to take them from someone else.

I think it’s this attitude of scarcity that compels us to compare pain and loss. If happiness is defined relative to others, then misery must be that way as well.

It’s a lie.

The simple truth is that one person’s pain has nothing to do with another’s. As a friend of mine says, “Everyone’s worst is their worst.”

I believe God wants me to operate from an attitude of abundance. In John 10:10 Jesus says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” The KJV translation says, “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

Scarcity and comparing are rooted in insecurity. We strive for more in a futile attempt to fill the void of “not enough.” It’s an endless death spiral of guilt and resentment that divides us into “haves” and “have-nots,” “fortunate” and “less fortunate.” It’s a world of “my car’s better than yours” and “your pain’s worse than mine.”

Abundance and fullness offer freedom. When contentment and peace are freely available to all, I can experience compassion without pity and celebration without resentment or guilt.

Pain, loss, and grief are perhaps the most universally human experiences, and what unites is far more powerful than what divides. We devalue this common understanding when we insist on comparing, categorizing, and judging our triumphs and tragedies.

We’d do better to seek understanding that allows us to support each other with unconditional love. You may not know what it’s like to be paralyzed, but you know exactly what it’s like to grieve and ask why God allowed such pain.

That’s an attitude of abundance that fosters growth, wisdom, and transparent relationships.

I do not believe my struggle is any “worse” or “better” than yours—except maybe for the bald part.

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It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. [Galatians 5:1]

Is anything still enslaving you, even after Jesus sacrificed Himself to set you free?

This week we’ve talked about the labels we use to categorize others. We’ve looked at Labels And Averages and How To Apply Labels Effectively.

Today I’m thinking that labels have varying degrees of stickiness. Some come off easily, while some take a lifetime to scrape away.

Glue or Velcro?

Kids apply a lot of their own labels with Velcro. This year he wears shorts and a t-shirt every day, then over the summer he discovers girls and shows up next year with a bit more fashion consciousness. One day the hair’s blue and disheveled, the next it’s all neatly arranged. Labels like these are easily peeled away and replaced with something new.

Some labels aren’t so easily removed. During my second year of college I took an intermediate composition course. Almost everyone in the room was an English major, and some of them were amazing writers. I was a math major who thought I might like writing, but I’d always been pigeonholed as the math-science guy.

The graduate-assistant teacher didn’t want to bother with my unpolished writing, so he gushed over the work of those who already knew about writing. After a few classes he called me aside and asked what in the world I was doing in his class. I was too intimidated to tell him I came with the silly notion that he might help be become a better writer. So I mumbled something and sat quietly in the back for the rest of the term, certain that I just wasn’t cut out to be a good writer.

I only remember one detail from that class—the instructor insisted that we address him as “Charles,” because he intended to be a famous poet. I wonder what ol’ Charlie’s up to these days.

The labels applied by others can be tough to shed. But you can peel them away, and with time you even learn that nobody can attach a label without your permission. Others’ labels can be painful, but you don’t have to live by them.

Super Glue

But one kind of label comes with super glue. Once attached, only the most determined folks can remove this kind of label.

The worst, most difficult-to-remove labels are those we apply to ourselves.

Some know-it-all self-proclaimed-expert writing teacher named Charlie tells me I’ll never be a writer—that’s tough to shake. But once I internalize that message, tattoo on my heart that I’m just not a writer, that becomes a self defeating prophesy. Once I KNOW I can’t do it, I stop trying.

Prison

We all live in jails more confining than anything constructed of bricks and iron bars. The walls that limit our true freedom are built from I can’t, I’ll never be able to, and I’m no good at. The bars are formed from I’m a failure, I’m worthless, and I don’t matter. The door is fashioned from guilt and shame, and the lock consists of my own conclusion that I have no hope.

The prison we build for ourselves from our own labels stifles our dreams and squeezes our hearts until we struggle for enough air to simply survive. Disabled—oops, can’t go that way. Divorced—uh-oh, that door’s closed. GUILTY because of past mistakes—up goes another wall. And pretty soon I’m boxed in, trapped by my self-applied limiting labels.

And the enemy of my soul laughs, because he didn’t have to do anything except whisper in my ear until the lies became real enough to deny the freedom God intends.

In Luke 4, Jesus announces Himself as the One sent by God “to proclaim freedom for the prisoners.” He wasn’t talking about worldly jails of brick and mortar.

God sent Jesus to dissolve the super glue and peel off the labels. He wants us to live without the restrictions of artificial categories that divide and confine. He wants that so much that His Son wasn’t too high a price to pay.

I am free. I encourage you to repeat that, out loud if possible.

You and I are not our labels and limitations. We’re not what others say we are, and we’re not what we think we are.

I want to strip away the self-applied labels and live in freedom. I only want one label attached to me: Jesus loves me.

What labels have you glued to your heart? How do they limit you?

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” [Luke 4:18-19]

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**This article is a re-post from April 19, 2009. I’m re-visiting the archives while my wife and I enjoy a few days of vacation.

Do you have any favorite “catch phrases?”

I like to read bumper stickers. I think there’s something clever about expressing an important bit of philosophy in a few memorable words and convincing someone to display your wisdom on their car.

I saw a catchy phrase yesterday that summarized the way I seem to live a good deal of my life: trapped behind an open door.

A story’s told of Houdini once being challenged to escape from a jail cell. After he was placed in the cell and left alone, he removed a thin strip of metal concealed in his belt and began working at the lock. But no matter what he tried, he couldn’t unlock the door.

The great magician had been tricked, because the door was never locked. All he had to do was open it, but his belief that the door was locked was sufficient to confine him.

I think many of my “troubles” are like that. I fuss and worry and struggle, only to discover that a significant portion of the problem lies within my own attitudes. I waste precious energy fighting to flee my self-imposed confinement.

I cannot escape from unacknowledged iron bars constructed of my own fear. As long as I ignore the cell I’ve created, I’ll languish in isolation as authentic as any prison might inflict.

I own a get-out-of-jail-free card, because I alone control my attitude. Perhaps I should simply push the door open.

You can fight to maintain the self-created limitations that imprison you. You can plot and scheme an impossible jailbreak. But you’ll always remain trapped behind an open door, limited by your attitudes and your belief in the lock.

As Houdini discovered, you can’t unlock an unlocked door.

I’m not blind to evil in the world. A great attitude won’t make my wheelchair disappear. Some doors are real, and “the power of positive thinking” doesn’t magically remove the iron bars and imposing locks of disease, pain, and grief. We can’t wish our way past the very real adversity that sometimes confronts us.

But I’d sure like to spend less time trapped behind open doors.

What’s an open door you’re trapped behind?

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Here’s this week’s contribution to the One-Word-At-A-Time Blog Carnival. I encourage you to click the link and check out some of the other carnival attractions. As the last fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5), this week’s word is:

SELF-CONTROL

Is Jesus about “No” or “Yes”?

I know this guy who used to have a really distorted picture of Christianity. I—er, he—thought it was all about “thou shalt not.” Being part of the church group meant resisting temptation, giving up all of the fun stuff, and generally approaching life with a bit of a scowl.

My “friend”

Early in his adult Christian life, this guy visited a church where a stern, austere pastor in a black suit and black tie talked for twenty-five minutes. He never smiled, not even during the punch line of his obligatory canned joke. He must have learned in pastor school that you’re supposed to say something funny during a sermon, but he clearly didn’t approve.

The title of that message: The Joy Of The Lord!

Obviously “joy” meant something different to church people.

My “friend” understood that following Jesus meant identifying anything that might be remotely fun and staying away. It was all about denial and fasting and being serious, sitting on uncomfortable wooden benches, and resisting temptation.

And he quickly learned that following Jesus meant labeling, separating good from bad. Good people did good things; bad people did bad things. Following Jesus meant identifying the bad people and staying away from them. It was easier to be good if you hung around with the good guys.

Low-lifes

See, people were generally a bunch of selfish, lustful, greedy low-lifes who wanted more than anything to live in depraved immorality. Self-control meant never giving an inch, staying so far away from temptation that you couldn’t possibly slip up. Any crack in the façade, any brush with sin or sinful people, would give the devil his opportunity. And before you even realized what happened, you’d be coveting and lusting and stealing.

You needed rules—lots and lots of rules. Some of the rules told you what you should do, but mostly the rules were “thou shalt not.” Following Jesus meant a life of “No.”

He kept hearing about the freedom we have in Christ, but he couldn’t see it.

My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence? [Galatians 5:16-18 The Message]

“Live freely?” What could possibly be “free” about an existence devoid of passion, lived out in an exclusive club devoted to avoiding and resisting? Self-control meant building solid walls and hiding behind them from everything you really wanted to do.

Not much “freedom” there.

My friend understood that a life of “No” is a losing battle. Even when he succeeded in his self-denial he resented and sought loopholes. When he managed to do something right, it was for all the wrong reasons. His life of “No” constantly pitted head against heart, and heart frequently claimed victory.

He tried and failed to master his heart, and became convinced that he just didn’t have the self-control to follow Jesus. But then something miraculous occurred.

An invitation

In the aftermath of a life-altering injury, He found himself wandering in darkness and despair, so completely lost that He actually believed God couldn’t reach him. In his weakness and desperation he asked Jesus for help, not really believing anything would change.

But something did change. It wasn’t the clean, instant transformation from an inspirational made-for-TV movie, but he began to hear a calm, quiet invitation: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” [Matthew 11: 28-30]

He looked at Jesus’ life—you know, the guy he was supposed to be following—and noticed that He adhered to a single, simple principle: Agape. And He didn’t love out of obligation, He loved because that was His heart’s inner-most desire.

He didn’t avoid temptation, He embraced it. He didn’t do right and avoid wrong because of a bunch of rules. He did those things because that’s what He wanted to do.

Jesus’ life wasn’t about “thou shalt not.” His life wasn’t one of “No.”

Jesus lived a life of “Yes.”

He listened and learned until His thoughts were the Father’s thoughts. Then He vigorously and passionately pursued His deepest desires. He wasn’t imprisoned by rules and fears. He said “Yes.”

Jesus did precisely what He wanted. He was completely, totally, free.

Self-control?

So what about self-control? How does that fit with freedom?

In The Message he saw a different twist. “Self-control” was translated “able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.”

And even as a member of the slow-learner class, my friend started to get it.

Self-control isn’t about mastering the heart—it’s about changing the heart, and that was a change only Jesus could accomplish. Self-control isn’t about saying “No” to the things you really want, it’s about changing the things you want so you can say “Yes” with joy and enthusiasm.

My friend is still pretty messed up—apparently heart-changing is a long, slow process. But he’s gradually experiencing the freedom of a life of “Yes.”

I’m glad, because I’m not very good at “No.” I can resist just about anything except temptation.

Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified. [Galatians 5:23-24 The Message]

Have you experienced following Jesus as a life of “Yes”?

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“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” [Matthew 11: 28-30]

What do you think Jesus wants you to do?

I’m not thinking of specific choices like whether to have pizza or turkey for lunch (I don’t think He cares). But in terms of overall life choices and directions, what do you think He wants? There are probably a lot of answers to that question, but I’m thinking of one right now that I’ll bet nobody else mentioned.

I think He wants me to quit. (It’s okay if you’re surprised.)

The scripture above is one of the most well-known passages in the bible. It’s a source of comfort to folks who are buried under the weight of illness, despair, and impossible expectations. But it’s even more comforting when we understand the historical context.

A Rabbi’s “yoke” was his teaching, interpretation, and application of the Torah. A student or disciple who followed the Rabbi took on his yoke, meaning the sum of requirements for fulfilling the Law as taught by that particular Rabbi. The symbolism is clear; a teacher’s yoke represented the obligations and sacrifices—the “burdens”–required of his followers.

Jesus makes a related reference when He says of the teachers of the law and the Pharisees, “They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.” [Matthew 23:4]

When Jesus claims that His yoke is easy and His burden is light, He’s setting us free from the legalism, the man-made rules, and the cultural expectations that “experts” are so quick to impose. He’s telling us that following Him doesn’t involve a complicated theological code and a long list of difficult requirements.

His “yoke” is much simpler and easier. He wants us to stop all of that nonsense and focus on Him and the things He values.

Jesus wants me to quit so much of the harmful, irrelevant striving that imprisons me behind self-constructed walls of failure. He asks me to stop:

• struggling to earn the forgiveness He offers by grace.
• stumbling under the weight of regret and shame.
• trying to conform to cultural expectations about behavior and relationships.
• worrying about money, appearance, and status.
• dragging around a misguided sense of guilt over sins for which He already atoned.

Every one of us carries the scars of an imperfect past. Perhaps it’s an addiction, or unwise choices, or abuse inflicted by someone else. Perhaps it’s your own fault or maybe it’s not. Our enemy tells us that we have to cling to the pain, seek revenge, or live in fear and guilt.

And Jesus says, “Quit.”

If you’re suffering under these kinds of burdens, listen again to Jesus’ simple invitation. Imagine Him standing before you with hands extended in love. Hear His words spoken softly in a voice of perfect compassion, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

He’s the God of a new beginning. You’re free to stop pretending and hiding in your self-imposed jail, because God knows about every moment of your past. He loves you so much that He sent Jesus to shatter the prison walls. You’re free to rest.

When Jesus was asked to state the most important commandment, the first word He uttered was, “Love.”

That’s His yoke. That’s what He wants you to learn as you walk in His footsteps.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. [Galatians 5:1]

What’s Jesus asking you to quit right now?

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It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. [Galatians 5:1]

How much do we limit ourselves with a misguided sense of obligation?

Yesterday I wrote about Service Without Strings and a call to love without expecting anything in return. As humans, we tend to put conditions and limits on our love. Even when we really try to remove the strings, I suspect a few always remain. The best we can do is be aware, do our best to remove them, and seek forgiveness when we fail.

AGAPE

I wonder whether I act as though God’s love comes with strings attached.

God doesn’t operate under human constraints. He doesn’t love us because He needs us or wants something from us or because He seeks to control us. I don’t have to earn it, and I couldn’t even if I tried. His love just is; that’s His essence and His nature. God’s love comes with no strings attached.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. [1 John 4:16]

God is love as a noun—He’s perfect, unconditional agape in its purest sense. I wonder if we really get that?

Too frequently, following Jesus carries a stigma of forced compliance, a laundry list of perceived requirements and obligations. But that’s all human legalism. Jesus didn’t call us from one sort of slavery into another. His teaching sets us free by guiding us toward the path for which we were designed.

God’s love is free. It’s a gift of grace. Period. Like any true gift, it’s mine to enjoy. All I need to do is open my hands and accept it. And if I choose to reject the gift, that doesn’t diminish it or make it disappear. It’s still there, waiting for me to unwrap it. But I can’t enjoy the gift and its benefits until I accept it.

GRATITUDE

When someone gives me a gift, I say “Thank you.” I don’t do that because it’s an obligation, I do it because I’m thankful. Expressing gratitude isn’t a requirement, it’s a privilege.

I don’t worship and serve to earn God’s love or because He demands or expects it. I don’t do them to retain God’s approval, to make sure He’s in my corner when I need Him.  I do those things from a sense of gratitude.

The sense of guilt and regret that we carry around is not God’s desire. He sent Jesus to free us from all of that. He doesn’t want us to follow Jesus out of some warped compulsion, as though we need to obey the rules to avoid punishment. He doesn’t want reluctant compliance, as though following Him is a required and unwanted burden.

FREEDOM

Jesus had the power of the universe at His fingertips. He was completely free to choose, but He selected the difficult path of obedience. I don’t think He felt compelled or obligated. He chose sacrificial love—no strings attached.

God doesn’t need me to follow His rules, and He certainly doesn’t need me to feel guilty when I fail. We make it too complicated, imposing our own maze of formulas and theologies onto His simple framework.

I believe that God smiles when I follow Jesus because Jesus walked the path to true freedom. That’s what He wants for me, and that’s what He wants for you.

Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.

I’m content to leave it at that.

We will strive to demonstrate God’s love—with no strings attached.

Are you ever tempted to attach strings to God’s love?

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An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. Ghandi

Yesterday I wrote about the pitfalls of Legislating Morality.

“Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” [Matthew 5:17]

I believe that Jesus meant exactly what He said. I believe that absolute truth exists. I believe that ethics and morals are not relative, that right is always right, and wrong is always wrong. I believe that Jesus is the source of truth, and that His model is the example we’re meant to emulate.

“FOLLOW ME.”

Jesus knew that the written law couldn’t sufficiently capture His truth. “I am the way, the truth, and the light.” The fullness of truth is expressed only in a personal relationship with Jesus.

It sounds so simple, as long as I don’t have to actually put it into practice. I want to follow, but I know I’ll fail. The best I can hope for is a poor but improving approximation of His desire for me.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” [Matthew 5:38-48]

HE CAN’T BE SERIOUS

Jesus was either the most naïve, impractical teacher in history or He knew something about us that’s beyond the world’s experience.

Do you think He was serious? I do.

By any worldly standard, Jesus didn’t win. He was unfairly persecuted and He refused to get even. I don’t want to follow that example. I want to see my opponents defeated, exposed, and humiliated. I demand fair treatment, and I don’t want to get even, I want to get ahead.

Turn the other cheek? You can’t possibly operate in this world with that sort of approach. People will take advantage of you. How can you possibly survive, much less thrive, if you respond to evil with love? Doesn’t He understand that loving my enemy leaves me vulnerable, that unscrupulous enemies will welcome the chance to strike at the second exposed cheek?

He understands perfectly, because He experienced it. Jesus’ followers will suffer injustice and persecution. He makes only one simple guarantee: if you do it His way, you’ll be free.

AN ENDLESS CYCLE

As long as I insist upon an eye for an eye, I’m a prisoner because the other guy dictates my behavior. If he’s kind, I can be kind. But if he’s nasty, I have to react with at least an equal level of nastiness. He gossips, I have to gossip. He hits, I have to hit back.

I may get even, and I may even win. But I’m never free, because my only choice is to react to the world on its terms.

One side misuses the process and stretches the truth, so the other side misuses the process and stretches the truth to keep up. They yell, so we have to yell louder or we’ll lose the argument. Right and wrong don’t matter; you can’t let the other side get ahead. It’s the stuff of politics and punditry and politicized pulpits, and we have to follow our side’s leaders or we’ll lose.

But we’re following the wrong leaders.

Violence demands violence. Disrespect must be answered disrespectfully. Suspicion requires more suspicion. And on and on it goes, a death spiral of eyes for eyes and teeth for teeth until with world is littered with toothless blind people lashing out at one another in darkness.

And in this cycle, the real enemy, the enemy of our souls, celebrates. Followers of Jesus succumb to the world’s temptation and surrender their power to choose love. You can almost hear him whispering, “Surely God doesn’t really mean that you’re supposed to be kind and love when others do obvious wrong. Surely He doesn’t want you to let evil ideas win.” And he chuckles with glee as we bow to his subtle twisting of Jesus’ simple words.

WHAT DO WE DO?

Jesus asks us to stop the cycle. He asks us to be different from the tax collectors and pagans. He asks us to step above slavery to the world’s ways and follow His way. He asks us to serve those who intend to harm us. In His simple, naïve words, He offers the keys to the prison.

• The Pharisees command obedience to the letter of the law. Jesus says, “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.”.
• The Romans kill their enemies. Jesus forgives the soldiers who drive nails into His body.
• The enemy of our souls tells us that God wants us to win the world’s battles. Jesus asks us to look to a kingdom beyond this broken world.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. [Galatians 5:1]

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. [2 Corinthians 3:17]

Jesus says simply, “Follow me.” He doesn’t promise that our side will win, or that the world will be fair, or that people won’t take advantage of us. Following Jesus is naïve and impractical, except for one thing.

When you follow Jesus, you get to be free.

Why is the simple message of Jesus so difficult to implement?

I hope you’ll take a look at my new e-book titled STICKS AND STONES: Finding Freedom In The Face Of Criticism. It’s a free PDF download. You can click the link in the sidebar or go to my resources page to download.

Did you enjoy this article? Please leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

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Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

Yesterday I wrote about Substance Or Style.

I was struck by how frequently Christians get caught up in style and forget substance. At times we all become immersed in form and doctrine and liturgy, and we lose sight of Jesus’ simple message of love. But especially for people who struggle for freedom from a tragic past, the awareness that God values essence over appearance might be overwhelming.

HOPELESS

I’ve heard it dozens of times. “If God really knows me, then He knows all of the junk inside, all of my past mistakes, all of the horrible events that I can’t erase. And if He can see all of that, it’s hopeless.”

Completely transparent intimacy intimidates everyone to some extent, but that sense of total vulnerability can overwhelm someone who faces despair and regret. When I’m ashamed of the past and depressed about the present, how can I possibly look to God with hope?

Jesus proclaims, “You are the light of the world.” (Matthew 5:14a) Then, in verse 16, He continues, “…let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

What good deeds? What light? He must be talking to someone else. When the past contains only sorrow and the present is shrouded in darkness, how can I possibly let my light shine?

A COMPASS

I’m absolutely convinced that God cares more about where we’re going than where we are or where we’ve been. Because of Jesus’ sacrifice, He’s concerned with direction rather than location. To me, God’s more like a compass than a map. The map reveals how I arrived at my current position, but the compass points north from any situation. Jesus is the direction to freedom in every circumstance.

Songwriter Don Francisco phrased this idea beautifully:

I don’t care where you’ve been sleeping; I don’t care who’s made your bed.
I already gave my life to set you free.
There’s no sin you can imagine that is stronger than my love,
and it’s all yours if you come home again to me.

Does God care what we do, or that we do our best? Of course. “…let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”

But He cares much more about motivation. Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. (Psalm 127: 1)

As I said yesterday, the end doesn’t justify the means; instead, the means change the end.

God values character more than accomplishments, who we’re becoming more than what we’re doing. As Rick Warren said, “We’re human beings, not human doings.”

You can live a life of substance in any situation. Let go of the map.

Follow the compass.

Within you is a limitless, unborn potential of creativity and substance, and the present experience can be your great opportunity to give birth to it. Disadvantage can become advantage, failure can become opportunity, and disappointment can become “His” appointment.

Do you have trouble following the compass rather than the map?

Did you enjoy this article? Please leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net.

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If I’ve learned anything from the accident that confined me to a wheelchair, it’s the principle that my journey is not the product of luck or fate or blind random chance.

The path I follow is determined by my choices.

Do I believe I made a choice to break my neck? Of course not—my injury resulted from a freak accident. No one caused me to tumble awkwardly from a roof, and I absolutely do not believe that paralysis was God’s plan for me. Evil rules this world; accidents happen, and too frequently one person acts in ways that harm others.

I also believe that the world abounds with good. People make decisions that bless and enrich others. With a subtle twist, the result of my fall might have been a bruise or a broken leg. That’s the nature of accidents.

But the incidents and events I encounter do not determine the nature of my journey. I alone make the choices that define the course.

The enemy wants me to believe that I’m a product of circumstance, a prisoner of luck or past events. He desperately screams that I’m damaged and broken beyond repair, that I’m a prisoner of misfortune and guilt. His misinformation campaign tells me I’ll never escape from the iron bars forged by accidents and mistakes.

Like all effective propaganda, this lie begins with truth. I am a broken person. Rocks and boulders litter portions of my path. Some are the result of my own bad decisions, others are just accidents, and a few of them may be intentionally placed by cruelty or evil. But that’s not the entire truth.

Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8: 31b-32

Jesus is the truth; if I know Him, I’m free. I am not hostage to the past, and I’m not a prisoner of the enemy’s lie that attempts to define me by circumstance. I choose Jesus. I know the truth. I’m free. That’s the truth that defines the nature of my journey.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Jesus offers freedom from the past, freedom from bondage to circumstances. I can choose to travel my path in Jesus’ footsteps, and that choice defines the path.

I still make mistakes, and bad things still happen. But God redeems broken circumstances and broken people—that’s the message of SetFreeToday.

Jesus doesn’t offer a magic shield from tragedy, misfortune, and the consequences of error. He simply offers to walk with us, to show us the way of freedom from the enemy’s lie.

That’s the truth—the truth that sets us free!

Question: What’s one issue or event that threatens to define you as a prisoner of circumstance?

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Dylan continues progress that’s encouraging but far too slow. His parents still face difficult medical choices. Please continue to support them in prayer. To put a very cute little face with your prayers, visit Dylan’s website: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/dylanm

Mike and his family confront the difficult reality of life with a spinal cord injury. Thank you for your continued prayers. If you’d like to read more about Mike and offer some words of encouragement, here’s a link to his story: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mikekabat

Please leave a comment, visit my website, and/or send me an email at rich@richdixon.net. 

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